When I found out I was pregnant with twins, I knew that I would get mixed reactions to the news. While most friends and family were completely thrilled for us, some other people (and random strangers) have said some pretty shocking things that have left me speechless.
So, in support of all the other twin moms out there, here’s a little guide I jotted down of things you probably should and shouldn’t say to us.
Don’t Say: You’re Too Small To Be Having Twins
Thank you, random stranger! I’m so glad that you’re an expert on how big a woman should look when they’re carrying twins. Last time I went to my doctor, she said I looked fabulous, and seeing as she went to 12 years of school to be my doctor, I’m going to go with her opinion and not yours.
Do Say: You Look So Cute Pregnant!
Thank you! That’s so nice! I’m definitely excited about the two buns in my oven!
Don’t Say: You Look Like You’re About to Pop!
Another twin mom I know cried in the grocery store because someone was astonished she was giving birth in April and not having “a Christmas baby” as the random stranger predicted.
Do Say: You Must Be So Excited to Meet Your Baby!
Thank you! I’m actually having two babies, and yes, we are so thrilled!
Don’t Say: You Definitely Won’t Be Able to Breastfeed
Random stranger, why are we sitting here in the check out line talking about my boobs? I don’t know you, and I don’t even talk to my mom about my boobs, let alone you.
Do Say: I Know You’ll Do Whatever is Best for Your Babies
Of course! We’re going to try out lots of different products and feeding methods and do whatever makes everyone the happiest and healthiest.
Don’t Say: Your Life Is Going to Change Forever
Wow! Are you serious? I thought my husband and I could go out to eat and buy a whole bottle of wine and just leave the twins at home with the dog.
Do Say: Your Life Is Going to Get So Much Better!
Thanks! We feel the same way. We love these babies so much already.
Don’t Say: You Need to Eat More
Well, maybe you need to eat less.
Do Say: What’s Your Favorite Meal? I’ll Make It For You!
That would be great! I really like filet mignon. And potatoes. Lots of potatoes.
Don’t Say: You’re Going to Have to Have a C-section
That’s so cool how you can predict the future! Do you use a crystal ball or tarot cards or what?
Do Say: I Hope You Have a Safe Delivery
Thank you. That’s all we care about. Safety first, regardless of how they come!
Don’t Say: Get at Much Rest Now As You Can!
Gosh, you know, I really would like to. I hear that sleeping now should definitely make me less tired when the twins come. Plus, I bet if I ask these kids to stop kicking my bladder at night, they’ll listen.
Do Say: What Can I Help You With So You Can Take An Extra Nap?
You’re too kind! And, since you asked, those dishes sure are piling up…
Don’t Say: Are They Natural?…
No! Didn’t you get that really cool catalog, the one where you can order robot twins? Yeah, they’re just fake, not natural at all, but hey isn’t technology amazing? They look so real these days.
…No Really, Did You Use Fertility Treatments?
Okay, that whole joke about the robots? That was my way of telling you to back off. Never ask a mom of twins if they used fertility treatments, because it’s rude! Since you’re SO nosy about my personal life though, let’s do the math: I conceived while living on an island in a developing country. They can barely figure out how to use a copy machine to send me my medical records, let alone run a fertility clinic.
Do Say: Twins! How Exciting!
Thank you! We feel the same way!
Don’t Say: Yay, Twins! Two and Done!
You know, random stranger, I was going to talk to my husband about whether or not we should have more kids, but now that you’ve given me your opinion, I feel like I don’t even have to run things by him anymore.
Don’t Say: I Know Someone Who Was Pregnant With Twins But They Lost One
Has anyone ever told you that you have a wonderful way with words? Seriously, how did you know exactly the right thing to say to me? I wasn’t terrified at all carrying two humans in my uterus so it’s a good thing your words have no effect on me.
Do Say: I’m Sure You’re Worried, But Everything Will Be Okay!
Thanks! Being pregnant with twins is definitely stressful at times. I really appreciate the kind words!
Don’t Say: Better You Than Me!
You know, I agree. It is better that I’m having the twins and not you. But hey, maybe you can babysit?
Do Say: If Anyone Can Handle Twins, It’s You!
Thanks for the vote of confidence! I really appreciate it!
Don’t Say: It’s A Good Thing You’re Having the Twins First Because You Won’t Know Any Better
Know any better about what? Is this a code? Are you trying to tell me a secret? Do I look like a detective?
Do Say: That’s Great You’re Having the Twins First! They’ll be Best Friends!
Thanks! We sure hope so!
Don’t Say: Double Trouble! Your Hands Are Going to be Full!
Oh, I was just going to get one of those kid-backpack things and just strap one to my front and one to my back. Then my hands will be free. And if they’re trouble, they’ll just have to flail about while strapped to me. Problem solved.
Do Say: What a Blessing. You’re So Lucky.
Thanks. I feel really fortunate to be their mom! I really appreciate your support.
….. aaaand [end scene]